The Hearse (1980)

This week’s B-Movie Enema comes from the dawn of the glorious decade known as the 1980s.  It’s the focus of every soft rock radio station’s weekend format.  It’s the predominating style of music on all mainstream movies’ soundtrack albums.  It’s the decade I visit the most by far.

And because The Hearse is a 1980 horror movie, famed movie critic Roger Ebert called it an idiot plot movie.  It’s his saying for a movie in which all the characters in the plot have to be idiots.  Now, I’m not saying that Roger Ebert is a snob and grossly underestimates the average horror movie, but most horror movie fans like this movie.  Probably because they are idiots and they really like idiot plots.  Continue reading “The Hearse (1980)”

Dracula Sucks (1978)

It’s been a bit since I had a good old fashioned vampire movie covered on this blog.  In fact, vampires have been covered more than any other topic here at B-Movie Enema.  But you know what I haven’t covered nearly enough of on this site?

Smut.

Smutty smutty, sexy smut.

Yeah, I’ve had fish rape and boobies and various sexual situations and even teenage guy shenanigans.  But I’ve not gone full porno.  Let’s rectify (*snicker*)… that situation.  Knowing I am venturing into full porno and my history with vampires, we have 1978’s Dracula Sucks, directed by Phillip Marshack and starring AVN Hall of Fame inductee Jamie Gillis. Continue reading “Dracula Sucks (1978)”

Summer School Teachers (1974)

As promised last week, our new B-Movie Enema article features three returning figures of recent BME importance – Candice Rialson, Barbara Peeters, and Roger Corman.

I figured, “You  know, it’s summertime, and young ladies are probably trying to figure some stuff out and maybe helping teach summer school. They are probably also wearing short shorts.  Some unfortunate kids are probably stuck in summer school.  So let’s do a feature that incorporates all that!”

So here we are – Summer School Teachers!  By the look of the poster, the knowledge of how popular this movie was and (relatively) well received, and Candice Rialson (plus other hot ladies), I don’t think it takes a math whiz to know this movie is probably going to be so far up my alley that…  Well, I don’t know how to finish that sentence.  Suffice it to say, this movie is gonna be just what the doctor ordered. Continue reading “Summer School Teachers (1974)”

Chatterbox (1977)

And, lo…  Did B-Movie Enema finally get to a new pinnacle of achievement.  Mark this day – August 3, 2018.  It is the day that I finally decided to cover a movie that features talking genitalia.  It’s 1977’s Chatterbox.

Yes.  It’s true.  This is one of a handful of movies that feature either boxes or ding dongs that talk.  And yes, this is only one of these movies.  There is a literal handful of talking genitalia movies.

This movie hearkens back to the glory of the 1970s.  This was during a time of “porno chic” – when X-rated and other very hard R-rated movies would play in actual movie theaters.  I’m not saying they were all good, but this wasn’t just found behind the saloon doors of a video store hidden away from the rest of the movies and other customers there with children and partners.   Continue reading “Chatterbox (1977)”

Rock ‘n’ Roll Nightmare (1987)

If I’m gonna do a bunch of Roger Corman movies, it is high time I return to the realm of the Great White North.  So, here we are again with another Canadian horror movie.  This also bring us back into the world of good ol’ fashioned rock and roll horror with demons and shit.

And Jon Mikl Thor.  Let’s not forget Thor!

This is the second time I’ve gotten into some Thor with Zombie Nightmare being the first of these treasures of cinema.  Like the treasures you pick out of your nose.  These movies are boogers. Continue reading “Rock ‘n’ Roll Nightmare (1987)”

Munchies (1987)

Ah, Gremlins.  What a great movie, right?

Little monsters running around doing stuff.  They start off cute and cuddly, but uh oh…  You can”t get them wet!  They multiply if they get wet!  You can’t feed them after midnight!  They turn into ugly, scary monsters when you do that!  And you REALLY can’t let them work on their tans because sunlight kills them!  That’s really bad!

I’m glad I get to talk about Gremlins (by the way, my all-time favorite Christmas movie), but I’m going to not watch that at all.  Instead, I’m gonna be watching one of the Gremlins ripoffs that flooded video stores after it hit big in the mid 80s.  Of course, there’s Critters, which I will get a shot at talking about at the end of the year over at Film Seizure (which is a podcast I co-host). Continue reading “Munchies (1987)”

Splatter University (1984)

There are few things about the 80s more true than the following:

1. Kids went to college.
2. Slasher movies happened – sometimes at colleges.

The topic of this week’s B-Movie Enema is the 1984 slasher flick, Splatter University.  However, it’s not really 1984.  The film was initially filmed in 1981.  When the runtime was only 65 minutes, they went back and filmed 13 more minutes in 1982.  So, really I guess this movie has three potential years of release.

And the movie REALLY struggles with the dimension of time – more on that later. Continue reading “Splatter University (1984)”

Humanoids from the Deep (1980)

It was only a matter of time before I would come right back to Roger Corman and his extensive library of films.  I didn’t quite think it would only be two weeks.  I also have been wanting to get back to some monster action too.  I mean I guess I did have Devil’s Express, but was that really a monster movie or just a sweet ass kung fu movie?  So, with that thought, it’s been since The Suckling several weeks ago that I’ve traveled to that sub-genre.

Why not marry the two things I’ve been wanting to explore deeper and look at a more contemporary Roger Corman monster movie??? Continue reading “Humanoids from the Deep (1980)”