Thirst (1979)

This week’s B-Movie Enema is a bit of a change of pace.  First, it’s a good movie.  Second, it’s an interesting take on an old idea.

From Australia, allow me to present to you Rod Hardy’s Thirst

I should note that the director, Hardy, has gone on to work on some things of note relatively recently.  He’s directed episodes of Battlestar Galactica, The X-Files, The Librarians, and Supernatural.  So he’s no schlub.  The film also stars a beautiful actress by the name of Chantal Contouri who is a little Greek and a little Australian, and all around alright by me.  While she did have a brief stint on General Hospital in the late 80s, for the most part, she’s primarily stayed in Australia and been on many of their TV shows.  Unfortunately, we don’t get many of those so I can’t give any overview of that in any real sense like the shows that Rod Hardy worked on here in the States. Continue reading “Thirst (1979)”

King Solomon’s Mines (1985)

Finally!  Cannon Films arrives to an appointment for a B-Movie Enema!  Let us rejoice!

So yes, this blog is all about the little movies.  Those that get forgotten because they weren’t as big budget as Star Wars, or as classic as Casablanca, or as divisive among the sexes like Titanic (and, trust me, all the dudes LOVE Titanic).  Then we get the 80s powerhouse studio, Cannon Films, and they kinda blow the lid off of what truly is a B-movie.

They would produce big time action movies like Delta Force, or spend tons of money on a single star like Sylvester Stallone.  They make sci-fi movies with a huge scope like Lifeforce or Masters of the Universe.  Or grand adventures like today’s film, King Solomon’s Mines. Continue reading “King Solomon’s Mines (1985)”

Low Blow (1986)

Already the third film featured from Crown International Pictures in just the first eight B-Movie Enemas, 1986’s Low Blow delivers some action.

I can only say some action because either this is a horrible failure of an action flick or it’s the most brilliant movie ever made to never be seen.  I’ll explain during the course of this near pornographic examination of this flick.

We’ll get to the synopsis momentarily.  I have to say that Mr. Low Blow here to our left is NOT our action star.  He’s not even a supporting character.  He does have a ridiculous arm as if Rob Liefeld (where my comic nerds at, yo?) got hired to totally fuck up the proportions of the man’s head to torso to forearm to fist ratio. Continue reading “Low Blow (1986)”

The Brainiac (1962)

The doctor is back in…  For better or worse.

B-Movie Enema returns with a tale of horror from south of the border!  This little nightmare fever dream of Donald Trump’s is called The Brainiac (also known as El Baron del Terror in its native Spanish).

“So what’s this all about?” you ask?  Based on the poster you have a pretty cool demon-like dude, a woman who was clearly shocked to be told she is in this movie, and what appears to be a couple guys with some flamethrowers. Continue reading “The Brainiac (1962)”