Okie doke. It’s the end of March. It’s also the point to which I have to take a break from all these Amazon Prime horror movies. I wish I could say that Prime is the gift that keeps on giving, but man… Each one of these is like I’m gambling.
Like I’m flopping my dickbag onto a little guillotine and then betting on Black on a Roulette wheel and hoping it doesn’t land on Red. And if it lands on one of the green spots, well… I don’t think I need to go into too much detail about where they’ll shove my newly severed saddle bag.
In my butt. That’s where they’ll shove it. Continue reading “Clinger (2015)”
March, er, marches on, and next up on my tour of shitty 2000s horror thanks to Amazon Prime is 2009’s Spirit Camp. Admittedly, whenever I hear the title I think of the 1980s slasher movie involving cheerleaders called Cheerleader Camp. While Cheerleader Camp had Leif Garrett and Lucinda Dickey and Betsy Russell and Teri Weigel, Spirit Camp has no one I recognize…
Wait… Roxy Vandiver. That sounds familiar. When I watched the trailer for the movie there was this girl with bright blonde hair with super short punk girl cut. She looks familiar. I mean, instantly, I thought “Oh that’s the girl I would be really into for no goddamn good reason and it would be a horrible idea for me to be into her.” But something was itchy in the back of my mind. Wait. Itchy? Wigs make your head itch sometimes… Continue reading “Spirit Camp (2009)”
I continue my tour of recent horror movies suggested to me by Amazon Prime, and I think today might just be either a treat or the worse experience of my life.
Die Die Delta Pi is a 2015 horror movie with roots that go back to the 1980s. It’s clear that the movie was made on something of a home brew. What I mean by that is that it was made on the cheap with whatever the makers could get. So we definitely have something that isn’t going to look that great.nor be all that well acted. Continue reading “Die Die Delta Pi (2015)”
“It was supposed to be a fun night…”
I know that feeling. I get that every time I sit down to write one of these damn blog posts. It was supposed to be a fun night. Then it goes to shit and I watch crappy movies and dissect them. Oh well, it’s my cross to bear.
I return to the world of Amazon Prime to explore more horror movies made in the 2000s. This one, I admit, has something going for it. Yeah, last week I watched a horror movie that followed an overused idea that what you saw was “based on true events” when, in fact, it’s almost entirely bullshit. Horror movies still do that by the way. But I think most will say that the Conjuring movies are generally well made and get the pass for being as good as they are. Continue reading “Sleepover (2016)”
Now that I’ve washed my hands of “Full Moon Fever” last month, it’s time to move forward with B-Movie Enema.
For this month, I had to wonder what it was I would do for movies. Seems like January had a series of movies that had bad things happen to good girls. February was dedicated to Charles Band and his Full Moon Features. I know April will be Phoebe Cates Month.
Oh… Spoiler Alert! April is Phoebe Cates Month. Continue reading “The Beckoning (2006)”