Zombie 3 (1988)

Back in January I covered Lucio Fulci’s masterpiece in undead horror – Zombie.  It’s fitting that I now look at its sequel, Zombie 3.

…

Wait.  Lemme check something.  1.  2.  3… 4.  Gotcha.  Okay, the math checks out there.  What are those titles again?

Zombie…  Zombie 3…

Oh, goddammit, it’s Italian.  Of course the sequels are all fucked.

Night Train to Terror (1985)

Damn you, Vinegar Syndrome…

You release so many movies that I need to not only see, but also write about in near manic volume.  This time around, not only do you have me at a movie that I remember seeing constantly at video stores in the 80s and 90s, but you also have me going all in on an anthology flick.  This is new levels of villainy, VS.

But not only that, this week’s feature, Night Train to Terror, is infamously known as being among some of the hammiest and worst cinema could possibly offer.  What’s curious is that this movie isn’t without some interesting people.  There’s B-Movie awesome guy, Cameron Mitchell.  That seems pretty solid.  I’ve seen lots of his work.  There’s also John Phillip Law.  He was in Barbarella.  Together, Law and Mitchell were in Space Mutiny!  How could this possibly be bad?

The Cinema Snob Movie (2012)

After Blue March, I wasn’t exactly sure where to go for the next B-Movie Enema.  I mean where do you go after you’ve watched five consecutive pornos from the 70s and 80s?  Who or what should I feature that could possibly make you feel a little less sleazy about watching pornos for your movie review site?

Then it hit me – Brad motherfuckin’ Jones.

Yup, the Cinema Snob himself.  Shit, that guy has seen waaaaaay more porn that I have.  He might even argue that his entire career is owed greatly to the golden age of porn.  Jones has made a handful of movies over the years – either as a writer or director or both.  I could have looked at several of his credits – the hilarious Jesus, Bro! or some of his smaller budget movies like Disco or Paranoia.  Ultimately, there really is only one thing I could possibly choose, the 2012 origin film of his most popular character, The Cinema Snob Movie.

Oriental Blue (1975)

Okay.  Admittedly, last week was a bit of a blunder in my Blue March theme month here at B-Movie Enema.  However, can this week’s feature, Oriental Blue, do better?  Can it improve upon the cockamamie doody bullfuck that was The Vixens of Kung Fu?

Well…  I mean it kinda has to right?  Right?  Yes, it is made by the same guy, Bill Milling.  Yes, it’s Asian-themed.  Yes, there seems to be some form of prostitution afoot.  But I can say it is a full 15 minutes longer.  That has to mean something, right?

Right?

The Vixens of Kung Fu (1975)

We’ve got two more weeks for Blue March and you know what we need?  A vacation.  Let’s head out to the mystical Orient to get some eastern eroticism.

We start by first checking in with The Vixens of Kung Fu.

Gee.  I wonder why this one appeals to me.  Vixens.  Kung Fu.  Yup, the math checks out.  But it’s not only that, but it also has some sweet, sweet revenge.  The movie is about a young prostitute getting brutally assaulted.  She runs away and finds a secret group of hot ass kung fu masters.  They train her and she gets her revenge all in a real tidy 70-minute package.  

Prisoner of Paradise (1980)

Howdy Enemaniacs!  Welcome back to the third feature in this month’s Blue March theme – Prisoner of Paradise!

For this entry, we’re bringing back a couple returning items.  First, big daddy John Holmes is returning after taking a bow (among other things) in Dracula Sucks.  We also travel back into the wild blue yonder of Nazisploitation – and I bet you are all real excited about that.

But, let me just say, you people are sick.   You know how I know this?  I know my blog’s stats.  I know them well, I do.  If I look at the top viewed posts, all FIVE of the movies marked with the “nazisploitation” tag rank in the top 13 posts.  Then, on top of that, Dracula Sucks, the other released adult movie I’ve covered on this blog, also ranks in the top 10.  The most viewed post at the time of this writing?  The Lost Empire which has tits flopping all over the place in it.

Dixie Ray Hollywood Star (1983)

Blue March continues with not only another adult film, but an adult film directed by Anthony Spinelli.  Spinelli was kind of known for his work in genres.  Hey, it’s not just a prono, it’s a sci-fi/drama that deals with relationships and kinks and sexual inadequacy.  This isn’t just a skin flick with a really hot redhead, it’s a film noir/crime drama type of movie too!

Dixie Ray Hollywood Star is the latter.  We have a hot, but enigmatic redhead movie star, Dixie Ray, played by Lisa Deleeuw.  She comes into contact (both figuratively and literally) with P.I. Nick Popodopolis, played by superstar adult actor John Leslie, who is caught up in a mystery after finding a dead woman on his floor.

Even better?  This movie has the one, the only, Cameron Mitchell!

SexWorld (1978)

I, the fine folks behind B-Movie Enema, would like to finally give into the base need and absolute expectation of all my friends to finally spend a month talking about blue movies.  We’re going to start with the big budget 1978 movie, SexWorld, directed by Anthony Spinelli.

Whether you call these flicks porn, titty flicks, smut, stag films, skin flicks, erotica, filth, dirt, obscenity, or x-rated material, I feel like this is where my life and my blog has come to a… er… well, head.   The decision to do this theme month was made over six months ago when the good people of Vinegar Syndrome had a  big ol’ blue sale where they were selling X-rated flicks for, like, half off or something.  I decided to get a stack of these movies so I can accept my destiny as “that guy” who watches “ever increasing smutty movies to keep writing about them.”