Tourist Trap (1979)

So here’s a movie that goes way back to my early education of horror.

I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before, but I’m the youngest of four boys.  Not just am I the baby of the family, but I’m the youngest by a bunch.  My brothers are 15 and 12  years older than me.  I great up in the 80s, and they grew up in the 70s.  My brothers who are 12 years older than me are twins and grew up on some classic 70s slasher flicks.  By the time the 80s classics came along, they were seeing those movies as much as possible, but I was also heavily exposed to a couple decades of movies.  Better yet, like with this week’s movie, Tourist Trap, I was exposed to what my brothers were nostalgic about as well as the new stuff.

If you think that upbringing was strange and kinda sad, I’ll have you know that I have my very own blog where I write every week about horror and exploitation movies.  So…  Who’s a sad weirdo now? Continue reading “Tourist Trap (1979)”

The Toolbox Murders (1978)

Bit by bit by bit… He carved a nightmare!

That’s what the promotional materials said to sell this week’s featured B-Movie Enema movie, The Toolbox Murders.  It was also marketed as a dramatization of a true crime spree perpetrated by a serial killer.  Think of it like what Tobe Hooper did with The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.  In fact, scratch that…  This movie is directly connected with The Texas Chainsaw Massacre in a much more direct way.

It’s not like anyone making The Toolbox Murders were associated with TCM.  Oh no…  This is classic exploitation sleaze that will forever connect these two movies.   You see, producer Tony Didio noticed that a second release of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre in 1977 was particularly successful.  So, he decided he wanted in on that.  He showed the movie to his writers and told them one simple thing:

“Gimme something exactly like that chainsaw movie.” Continue reading “The Toolbox Murders (1978)”

Pets (1973)

With The Secret Lives of Pets 2 now in theaters for the past month or so, I figured this is the right time to talk about another movie with “Pets” in the title that Louis C.K. should probably not be allowed near.  And since I can’t seem to go 3 minutes without talking about a Vinegar Syndrome home video release, nor do I like to go 30 seconds without thinking about Candice Rialson, let’s just tie it all into one nice, neat bow with 1973’s Pets.

And if I get a little too out of hand, I’m sure Illumination can come in and remove me and ask for Patton Oswalt to fill in for me.  Nah, just kidding.  Just like Louis C.K. does so well himself when women are trapped in his hotel room, I’m just busting his balls. Continue reading “Pets (1973)”

The Dragon Lives Again (aka Deadly Hands of Kung Fu, 1977)

12 ASSASSINS FROM HELL WITH ONE OBJECTIVE:

KILL BRUCE!

Whoa…  Who is Bruce and why is he such an asshole that you need demon assassins from hell to take him out?

Oh boy, that’s question that has answers that is weird and interesting in its own right.  Shit, I could write an entire article on the whole idea of “Bruceploitation” alone and never once start this movie.  The explanation of why Bruce needs to be killed and what the title even means begins with the greatest martial arts star in the whole world: Bruce Lee. Continue reading “The Dragon Lives Again (aka Deadly Hands of Kung Fu, 1977)”

Mama’s Dirty Girls (1974)

Say…  What have we here?  Ladies…  Allow me to introduce myself to you – I am a dude who makes terrible decisions in the quest to find a good girl.  And, shiiit…  You are apparently your Mama’s Dirty Girls after all.  You are 100% my style.

All that first paragraph was for me to say the following:

OF COURSE I WOULD EVENTUALLY COVER THIS MOVIE.

Continue reading “Mama’s Dirty Girls (1974)”

Oriental Blue (1975)

Okay.  Admittedly, last week was a bit of a blunder in my Blue March theme month here at B-Movie Enema.  However, can this week’s feature, Oriental Blue, do better?  Can it improve upon the cockamamie doody bullfuck that was The Vixens of Kung Fu?

Well…  I mean it kinda has to right?  Right?  Yes, it is made by the same guy, Bill Milling.  Yes, it’s Asian-themed.  Yes, there seems to be some form of prostitution afoot.  But I can say it is a full 15 minutes longer.  That has to mean something, right?

Right? Continue reading “Oriental Blue (1975)”

SexWorld (1978)

I, the fine folks behind B-Movie Enema, would like to finally give into the base need and absolute expectation of all my friends to finally spend a month talking about blue movies.  We’re going to start with the big budget 1978 movie, SexWorld, directed by Anthony Spinelli.

Whether you call these flicks porn, titty flicks, smut, stag films, skin flicks, erotica, filth, dirt, obscenity, or x-rated material, I feel like this is where my life and my blog has come to a… er… well, head.   The decision to do this theme month was made over six months ago when the good people of Vinegar Syndrome had a  big ol’ blue sale where they were selling X-rated flicks for, like, half off or something.  I decided to get a stack of these movies so I can accept my destiny as “that guy” who watches “ever increasing smutty movies to keep writing about them.” Continue reading “SexWorld (1978)”

Terror (1978)

Let’s talk about Norman J. Warren.

He’s someone who I’ve yet to really feature on this blog, but I will be correcting that big time from this point forward.  He’s a British filmmaker who was always into the movies growing up.  His films were often deemed part of British “New Wave” Horror.  Basically, taking what Amicus and Hammer did with sexuality and gore and pushing it a little further for the end of the 70s and beginning of the 80s.

His movies are really interesting – and, in my opinion, actually fascinating and fun to watch, if not good.  He seems to have ideas, even if what he starts with isn’t that groundbreaking.  Want to tell a ghost story?  Well, he’ll tweak it here and there and include a time element and give you Bloody New Year.  Want to tell a story about an alien coming to Earth?  Well, how about we throw in abuse and a lesbian couple and a sinister reason for the alien to be here and give you Prey.  How about yet another alien story, but this time include impregnation and have the mother of the new alien/human hybrid become murderously protective of the monster?  Yeah, we’ll call that Inseminoid. Continue reading “Terror (1978)”