The Lost Empire (1984)

Jim Wynorski returns to B-Movie Enema this week.  And, to be completely and totally fair with everyone, I’m a bit of a fan.  I don’t think it takes too much to understand why.  Sure, he’s worked with Roger Corman on some of Corman’s less memorable 80s fare, but not only will Wynorski bring the camp and the fun…

He also brings the babes.

That’s exactly what we have here for you this week.  The Lost Empire is a 1984 fantasy action movie with a lot of boobs and bullets and bo-blosions!  This is what Andy Sedaris could be if he had the opportunity to release movies in theaters instead of late night Cinemax.   Continue reading “The Lost Empire (1984)”

Blue Vengeance (1989)

Here’s a movie that you’ve never heard of – Blue Vengeance.  How do I know you haven’t heard of that?  Well, because I hadn’t heard of it.  I’m not going to say that I’m the end-all, be-all expert in weird and obscure movies – oh no, far from it.  I’m just saying that before Jason Oliver, who I co-host a weekly podcast with called Film Seizure, brought it to my attention, and basically dropped it in my lap to watch, I was completely ignorant to what this movie is.

There’s no Wikipedia page for it.  There is an IMDb page for this, but I’m guessing there’s a page on that site for my totally unauthorized biography movie made on a shitty, soundless Super-8 camera called Hey That Guy Over There Totally Shit His Pants!  I just want to make it clear that I have indeed shit my pants a few times in life, but I haven’t in the last eight months so if you would kindly leave me alone, I’d greatly appreciate it. Continue reading “Blue Vengeance (1989)”

Sweet Sweetback’s Baadasssss Song (1971)

Oh baby, we’re back to some sweet, sweet blaxploitation!

There are few in the sub-genre of blaxploitation that are as highly regarded as Melvin Van Peebles’ Sweet Sweetback’s Baadasssss Song.  It carries the distinction of being included as part of the permanent collection of The Museum of Modern Art.  It’s also the first to be labeled as “blaxploitation”.  So if you want to go back to the beginning of the phenomenon, well, you can’t go back further than this. Continue reading “Sweet Sweetback’s Baadasssss Song (1971)”

The Muthers (1976)

Aw shit yeah, Enamaniacs.  I have a very good feeling about this week’s B-Movie Enema.

Looking back on Black Friday 2017, I excitedly took advantage of a massive sale on the Vinegar Syndrome website.  One of the movies I was excited to pick up was The Muthers.  The reasons were plentiful.

For one, it looked like a pretty sweet action movie with ladies takin’ over boats and blowing shit up and stuff.  I felt it was likely going to have a blaxploitation slant, and I think you all know how I feel about that sub-genre.  It also was starring some pretty hot ladies.  I think you all know how I feel about that topic too.  That’s not all, I think almost all these chicks have been in Playboy.  So, there’s that too.  It’s also a “women in prison” flick that was pretty popular in the 70s and into the 80s.  But it allowed me to cross another thing off the ol’ checklist – Filipino sleaze. Continue reading “The Muthers (1976)”

The Candy Tangerine Man (1975)

“GIT BACK JACK – GIVE HIM NO JIVE… HE IS THE BAAAD’EST CAT IN ’75”

Here’s a perfect example of spectacular marketing at work.  I mean…  You’ve got a rhyme that uses the word “jive”.  Not to mentioned “bad” has two extra A’s for effect.  And this fella is a cat.  I like cats.

Also, this is a fuckin’ for real 1970s blaxploitation action flick with crime and racists cops and a fuckin’ pimp.

The Candy Tangerine Man is a favorite of the genre for Quentin Tarantino (becauseofcourseitis) and Samuel L. Jackson (because he’s a bad motherfucker).  The former stating that the director, Matt Cimber, made some of his more favorite films.  I think it is also extremely important to discuss Mr. Cimber. Continue reading “The Candy Tangerine Man (1975)”

Kung Fu Brother (2016)

Oh no…  I may have pushed this luck with the kung fu and martial arts movies one week too far.

This… is Kung Fu Brother.  You know you’re in troubling waters when the following things can be said about your movie:
1. There is a discrepancy in the release date: Amazon says 2016, IMDb says 2014.
2. IMDb’s cumulative score for the movie is a whopping 2.7/10
3. Ron Hall, star of Vampire Assassin, is in your movie. You can find reviews of this here and here.
4. The guy on your DVD cover looks like he just literally lept out of the N64 game Goldeneye and is kicking you with his gross bare foot. Continue reading “Kung Fu Brother (2016)”

Policewomen (1974)

Cold Steel on the outside… ALL woman on the inside!

Ooh boy this kinda has my motor running if you know what I mean, fellas.  Policewomen is about a lady cop (as pictured on the poster to the left), who has a skirt on, some stockings, and boobs, taking on a gang of lady criminals – they, too, probably in the boob and skirts market.  I bet they also like to carry around guns and point them and shit!

HOLY JEEZ, GUYZ!  LADIES AND GUNS!  WOOHOO!

Ahem…  Sorry, everyone.  Not sure what got into me there.  Anyway, I should also point out that this is another movie featuring some sweet martial arts action.  I mean, why not?  Let’s turn this month into a balls-to-the-walls kung fu month, eh?!? Continue reading “Policewomen (1974)”

Devil’s Express (1976)

Holy Jesus Fuck, what do we have here?

Why, it’s Warhawk Tanzania starring in Devil’s Express!  Where do I start with this one?  I mean, everything in the poster looks batshit crazy.  There’s a monster guy who has a woman in one hand and a train in the other.  We have the not one, but TWO taglines – “50,000 years of Death stalks the subways!!!” and “Take the Express train to TERROR!!!”  Both of these are capped with three exclamation points so you know you have to take it seriously.

But no, what I like the most is the kung fu black man on the right side of the poster.  Mr. Warhawk Tanzania!  That’s a fucking name and a half, ain’t it?  Seriously, you can hope for, nay, EXPECT, two things from a name like that – 1) he’s gonna kick ass and 2) he ain’t gonna take no jive from anybody no how. Continue reading “Devil’s Express (1976)”