As promised last week, our new B-Movie Enema article features three returning figures of recent BME importance – Candice Rialson, Barbara Peeters, and Roger Corman.
I figured, “You know, it’s summertime, and young ladies are probably trying to figure some stuff out and maybe helping teach summer school. They are probably also wearing short shorts. Some unfortunate kids are probably stuck in summer school. So let’s do a feature that incorporates all that!”
So here we are – Summer School Teachers! By the look of the poster, the knowledge of how popular this movie was and (relatively) well received, and Candice Rialson (plus other hot ladies), I don’t think it takes a math whiz to know this movie is probably going to be so far up my alley that… Well, I don’t know how to finish that sentence. Suffice it to say, this movie is gonna be just what the doctor ordered. Continue reading “Summer School Teachers (1974)”
And, lo… Did B-Movie Enema finally get to a new pinnacle of achievement. Mark this day – August 3, 2018. It is the day that I finally decided to cover a movie that features talking genitalia. It’s 1977’s Chatterbox.
Yes. It’s true. This is one of a handful of movies that feature either boxes or ding dongs that talk. And yes, this is only one of these movies. There is a literal handful of talking genitalia movies.
This movie hearkens back to the glory of the 1970s. This was during a time of “porno chic” – when X-rated and other very hard R-rated movies would play in actual movie theaters. I’m not saying they were all good, but this wasn’t just found behind the saloon doors of a video store hidden away from the rest of the movies and other customers there with children and partners. Continue reading “Chatterbox (1977)”
Ah, Gremlins. What a great movie, right?
Little monsters running around doing stuff. They start off cute and cuddly, but uh oh… You can”t get them wet! They multiply if they get wet! You can’t feed them after midnight! They turn into ugly, scary monsters when you do that! And you REALLY can’t let them work on their tans because sunlight kills them! That’s really bad!
I’m glad I get to talk about Gremlins (by the way, my all-time favorite Christmas movie), but I’m going to not watch that at all. Instead, I’m gonna be watching one of the Gremlins ripoffs that flooded video stores after it hit big in the mid 80s. Of course, there’s Critters, which I will get a shot at talking about at the end of the year over at Film Seizure (which is a podcast I co-host). Continue reading “Munchies (1987)”
After last week’s Malibu High, a movie that is not at all as fun and lighthearted as the poster looked, I decided it’s time for me to actually go for something that is exactly what it appears.
Screwballs – “The nuts who always score!” I mean just look at that poster. The simple composition of a girl in her underwear running away from a dude in his boxers while he pulls the strap to her bra tells you exactly everything you need to know about this movie. Mainly that there will likely be lots and lots of sexual misconduct. And I’m gonna see boobs. But mostly the sexual misconduct. But even more mostly that I’m gonna see boobs. Continue reading “Screwballs (1983)”
I’m gonna guess it doesn’t take too much to understand why I’m doing this movie, but, nonetheless, this week’s B-Movie Enema is a little 2014 “comedy” I found on Amazon Prime Video called After School Massacre.
I mean, the cover’s got the word “massacre” in the title. There’s a bloody knife. It’s got a shitty tagline of “Some students just don’t make the grade.” “After school” takes me back to the cheesy, but still classic, ABC Afterschool Specials that taught me the dangers of strangers and drugs and pregnancy. It looks like the killer committing the titular massacre is hiding under a bath towel… Or, wait, I guess he’s under the bed. Continue reading “After School Massacre (2014)”
This week’s B-Movie Enema is being released in conjunction with the latest three-part episode extravaganza at Film Seizure!
That three-part extravaganza over there is for our original pilot episode in which we talked all about the first three Friday the 13th movies. So, with today being Saturday the 14th, and we talked about the first three movies of the Friday the 13th series…
Well, you get the picture.
Saturday the 14th was a relatively famous movie when I was a kid. It seemed to be on TV an awful lot and had recognizable faces in it. The star, Richard Benjamin, has sort of been featured here before as well as being known for being the protagonist in the original Westworld movie. He was not just an actor, but also a director. Just go back some months to find me talking about his My Stepmother Is an Alien. Here, he’s starring with his real life wife, Paula Prentiss, who was mostly known for being in the 1975 version of Get Out, The Stepford Wives. Continue reading “Saturday the 14th (1981)”
It’s not every day that someone gets to say “Last week I watched My Stepmother Is an Alien and this week, I’m taking a look at Darktown Strutters.” I feel pretty accomplished.
Not only do I feel accomplished by typing a sentence that I’m sure no one has this past decade, but I’m fast approaching the centennial mark for B-Movie Enema! This marks the 91st entry of this blog. That means that before the end of November, I’ll have hit 100 posts. How do I plan on celebrating that mark?
By taking a small break to pursue some other projects which could mean some significant overhauls to this blog. Continue reading “Darktown Strutters (1975)”
So here’s another movie I watched a whole bunch between 1989 and about 1991.
In the late 80s and early 90s, I was hitting puberty pretty much like Mark McGwire would hit dingers – hard and fast. During this time, I would find movies and TV shows as sources of my adolescent crushes. I don’t think we need to revisit my damn near stalker-level love of both Alyssa Milano and Phoebe Cates. I think we’ve covered that quite a bit. Last week, you learned that I was hot in my britches for Teri Copely. There were two other ladies that hit the scene in 1989 that I wanted to see whatever I could – Kim Basinger and the cat lady from Star Trek V: The Final Frontier. Continue reading “My Stepmother Is an Alien (1988)”