Dracula Sucks (1978)

It’s been a bit since I had a good old fashioned vampire movie covered on this blog.  In fact, vampires have been covered more than any other topic here at B-Movie Enema.  But you know what I haven’t covered nearly enough of on this site?

Smut.

Smutty smutty, sexy smut.

Yeah, I’ve had fish rape and boobies and various sexual situations and even teenage guy shenanigans.  But I’ve not gone full porno.  Let’s rectify (*snicker*)… that situation.  Knowing I am venturing into full porno and my history with vampires, we have 1978’s Dracula Sucks, directed by Phillip Marshack and starring AVN Hall of Fame inductee Jamie Gillis. Continue reading “Dracula Sucks (1978)”

Summer School Teachers (1974)

As promised last week, our new B-Movie Enema article features three returning figures of recent BME importance – Candice Rialson, Barbara Peeters, and Roger Corman.

I figured, “You  know, it’s summertime, and young ladies are probably trying to figure some stuff out and maybe helping teach summer school. They are probably also wearing short shorts.  Some unfortunate kids are probably stuck in summer school.  So let’s do a feature that incorporates all that!”

So here we are – Summer School Teachers!  By the look of the poster, the knowledge of how popular this movie was and (relatively) well received, and Candice Rialson (plus other hot ladies), I don’t think it takes a math whiz to know this movie is probably going to be so far up my alley that…  Well, I don’t know how to finish that sentence.  Suffice it to say, this movie is gonna be just what the doctor ordered. Continue reading “Summer School Teachers (1974)”

Chatterbox (1977)

And, lo…  Did B-Movie Enema finally get to a new pinnacle of achievement.  Mark this day – August 3, 2018.  It is the day that I finally decided to cover a movie that features talking genitalia.  It’s 1977’s Chatterbox.

Yes.  It’s true.  This is one of a handful of movies that feature either boxes or ding dongs that talk.  And yes, this is only one of these movies.  There is a literal handful of talking genitalia movies.

This movie hearkens back to the glory of the 1970s.  This was during a time of “porno chic” – when X-rated and other very hard R-rated movies would play in actual movie theaters.  I’m not saying they were all good, but this wasn’t just found behind the saloon doors of a video store hidden away from the rest of the movies and other customers there with children and partners.   Continue reading “Chatterbox (1977)”

The Muthers (1976)

Aw shit yeah, Enamaniacs.  I have a very good feeling about this week’s B-Movie Enema.

Looking back on Black Friday 2017, I excitedly took advantage of a massive sale on the Vinegar Syndrome website.  One of the movies I was excited to pick up was The Muthers.  The reasons were plentiful.

For one, it looked like a pretty sweet action movie with ladies takin’ over boats and blowing shit up and stuff.  I felt it was likely going to have a blaxploitation slant, and I think you all know how I feel about that sub-genre.  It also was starring some pretty hot ladies.  I think you all know how I feel about that topic too.  That’s not all, I think almost all these chicks have been in Playboy.  So, there’s that too.  It’s also a “women in prison” flick that was pretty popular in the 70s and into the 80s.  But it allowed me to cross another thing off the ol’ checklist – Filipino sleaze. Continue reading “The Muthers (1976)”

Screwballs (1983)

After last week’s Malibu High, a movie that is not at all as fun and lighthearted as the poster looked, I decided it’s time for me to actually go for something that is exactly what it appears.

Screwballs – “The nuts who always score!”  I mean just look at that poster.  The simple composition of a girl in her underwear running away from a dude in his boxers while he pulls the strap to her bra tells you exactly everything you need to know about this movie.  Mainly that there will likely be lots and lots of sexual misconduct.  And I’m gonna see boobs.  But mostly the sexual misconduct.  But even more mostly that I’m gonna see boobs. Continue reading “Screwballs (1983)”

Malibu High (1979)

Hooray!  I’m gonna watch more exploitation from the 70s!  This makes me very happy.  And why shouldn’t I feel that way?  Look at the poster to the left for this week’s feature, Malibu High.  Look at the comely lady sunbathing toplessly with that smile that almost says, “Look what I got myself into this time…  I’m such a fun gal!”

And what did she get herself into?  Well, it looks like a bunch of various types of guys in the background are looking on.  Because they are drawn in caricature while she is drawn in photo realism, I’m guessing these guys are gonna be a bunch of rapscallions that will be either scolding our luscious leading lady Kim (played by Jill Lansing), or they will be chasing after her like sex-crazed juveniles hoping she’ll spend a night with them in the ol’ sack. Continue reading “Malibu High (1979)”

Policewomen (1974)

Cold Steel on the outside… ALL woman on the inside!

Ooh boy this kinda has my motor running if you know what I mean, fellas.  Policewomen is about a lady cop (as pictured on the poster to the left), who has a skirt on, some stockings, and boobs, taking on a gang of lady criminals – they, too, probably in the boob and skirts market.  I bet they also like to carry around guns and point them and shit!

HOLY JEEZ, GUYZ!  LADIES AND GUNS!  WOOHOO!

Ahem…  Sorry, everyone.  Not sure what got into me there.  Anyway, I should also point out that this is another movie featuring some sweet martial arts action.  I mean, why not?  Let’s turn this month into a balls-to-the-walls kung fu month, eh?!? Continue reading “Policewomen (1974)”

The Suckling (1990)

Oh, what’s this?  The Suckling?  I wonder if this movie is any good.  What is it that they say?  Ah, that’s right…

“What’s in a name?  Everything.”

Oh.  Oh, no.  That doesn’t bode well.  Well, I can at least say that the monster on the cover of the box is fucking awesome looking.  Look at that guy!  He’s all head and teeth and grossness!

I also have to give it props for two things written up on for real, very reliable websites.  The first, is the very brief synopsis given on Amazon Prime Video: “An aborted fetus dumped in a sewer full of toxic sludge returns.  Newly restored in HD.”  Fuck yeah!  We got a dumpster baby!  AND!  AND!  It’s been restored to high goddamn definition!  That just kills me.  That part at the end about it being newly restored is likely not going to be the selling point for any normal person looking for a movie for this evening’s entertainment. Continue reading “The Suckling (1990)”