Zombie 3 (1988)

Back in January I covered Lucio Fulci’s masterpiece in undead horror – Zombie.  It’s fitting that I now look at its sequel, Zombie 3.

Wait.  Lemme check something.  1.  2.  3… 4.  Gotcha.  Okay, the math checks out there.  What are those titles again?

Zombie…  Zombie 3

Oh, goddammit, it’s Italian.  Of course the sequels are all fucked. Continue reading “Zombie 3 (1988)”

Night Train to Terror (1985)

Damn you, Vinegar Syndrome

You release so many movies that I need to not only see, but also write about in near manic volume.  This time around, not only do you have me at a movie that I remember seeing constantly at video stores in the 80s and 90s, but you also have me going all in on an anthology flick.  This is new levels of villainy, VS.

But not only that, this week’s feature, Night Train to Terror, is infamously known as being among some of the hammiest and worst cinema could possibly offer.  What’s curious is that this movie isn’t without some interesting people.  There’s B-Movie awesome guy, Cameron Mitchell.  That seems pretty solid.  I’ve seen lots of his work.  There’s also John Phillip Law.  He was in Barbarella.  Together, Law and Mitchell were in Space Mutiny!  How could this possibly be bad? Continue reading “Night Train to Terror (1985)”

The Cinema Snob Movie (2012)

After Blue March, I wasn’t exactly sure where to go for the next B-Movie Enema.  I mean where do you go after you’ve watched five consecutive pornos from the 70s and 80s?  Who or what should I feature that could possibly make you feel a little less sleazy about watching pornos for your movie review site?

Then it hit me – Brad motherfuckin’ Jones.

Yup, the Cinema Snob himself.  Shit, that guy has seen waaaaaay more porn that I have.  He might even argue that his entire career is owed greatly to the golden age of porn.  Jones has made a handful of movies over the years – either as a writer or director or both.  I could have looked at several of his credits – the hilarious Jesus, Bro! or some of his smaller budget movies like Disco or Paranoia.  Ultimately, there really is only one thing I could possibly choose, the 2012 origin film of his most popular character, The Cinema Snob Movie. Continue reading “The Cinema Snob Movie (2012)”

Oriental Blue (1975)

Okay.  Admittedly, last week was a bit of a blunder in my Blue March theme month here at B-Movie Enema.  However, can this week’s feature, Oriental Blue, do better?  Can it improve upon the cockamamie doody bullfuck that was The Vixens of Kung Fu?

Well…  I mean it kinda has to right?  Right?  Yes, it is made by the same guy, Bill Milling.  Yes, it’s Asian-themed.  Yes, there seems to be some form of prostitution afoot.  But I can say it is a full 15 minutes longer.  That has to mean something, right?

Right? Continue reading “Oriental Blue (1975)”

The Vixens of Kung Fu (1975)

We’ve got two more weeks for Blue March and you know what we need?  A vacation.  Let’s head out to the mystical Orient to get some eastern eroticism.

We start by first checking in with The Vixens of Kung Fu.

Gee.  I wonder why this one appeals to me.  Vixens.  Kung Fu.  Yup, the math checks out.  But it’s not only that, but it also has some sweet, sweet revenge.  The movie is about a young prostitute getting brutally assaulted.  She runs away and finds a secret group of hot ass kung fu masters.  They train her and she gets her revenge all in a real tidy 70-minute package.   Continue reading “The Vixens of Kung Fu (1975)”