Dracula Sucks (1978)

It’s been a bit since I had a good old fashioned vampire movie covered on this blog.  In fact, vampires have been covered more than any other topic here at B-Movie Enema.  But you know what I haven’t covered nearly enough of on this site?

Smut.

Smutty smutty, sexy smut.

Yeah, I’ve had fish rape and boobies and various sexual situations and even teenage guy shenanigans.  But I’ve not gone full porno.  Let’s rectify (*snicker*)… that situation.  Knowing I am venturing into full porno and my history with vampires, we have 1978’s Dracula Sucks, directed by Phillip Marshack and starring AVN Hall of Fame inductee Jamie Gillis. Continue reading “Dracula Sucks (1978)”

Rock ‘n’ Roll Nightmare (1987)

If I’m gonna do a bunch of Roger Corman movies, it is high time I return to the realm of the Great White North.  So, here we are again with another Canadian horror movie.  This also bring us back into the world of good ol’ fashioned rock and roll horror with demons and shit.

And Jon Mikl Thor.  Let’s not forget Thor!

This is the second time I’ve gotten into some Thor with Zombie Nightmare being the first of these treasures of cinema.  Like the treasures you pick out of your nose.  These movies are boogers. Continue reading “Rock ‘n’ Roll Nightmare (1987)”

Munchies (1987)

Ah, Gremlins.  What a great movie, right?

Little monsters running around doing stuff.  They start off cute and cuddly, but uh oh…  You can”t get them wet!  They multiply if they get wet!  You can’t feed them after midnight!  They turn into ugly, scary monsters when you do that!  And you REALLY can’t let them work on their tans because sunlight kills them!  That’s really bad!

I’m glad I get to talk about Gremlins (by the way, my all-time favorite Christmas movie), but I’m going to not watch that at all.  Instead, I’m gonna be watching one of the Gremlins ripoffs that flooded video stores after it hit big in the mid 80s.  Of course, there’s Critters, which I will get a shot at talking about at the end of the year over at Film Seizure (which is a podcast I co-host). Continue reading “Munchies (1987)”

Splatter University (1984)

There are few things about the 80s more true than the following:

1. Kids went to college.
2. Slasher movies happened – sometimes at colleges.

The topic of this week’s B-Movie Enema is the 1984 slasher flick, Splatter University.  However, it’s not really 1984.  The film was initially filmed in 1981.  When the runtime was only 65 minutes, they went back and filmed 13 more minutes in 1982.  So, really I guess this movie has three potential years of release.

And the movie REALLY struggles with the dimension of time – more on that later. Continue reading “Splatter University (1984)”

Humanoids from the Deep (1980)

It was only a matter of time before I would come right back to Roger Corman and his extensive library of films.  I didn’t quite think it would only be two weeks.  I also have been wanting to get back to some monster action too.  I mean I guess I did have Devil’s Express, but was that really a monster movie or just a sweet ass kung fu movie?  So, with that thought, it’s been since The Suckling several weeks ago that I’ve traveled to that sub-genre.

Why not marry the two things I’ve been wanting to explore deeper and look at a more contemporary Roger Corman monster movie??? Continue reading “Humanoids from the Deep (1980)”

Cheerleader Camp (1988)

Welcome back to yet another B-Movie Enema.  I’ve been looking forward to talking about this one for a while.

Many times over the past couple years, I’ve mentioned the Roku channel Bizarre TV.  When I first got my Roku, it was one of the very first channels I began to watch religiously for its streaming of, well, bizarre movies and horror shorts.  Some of the movies shown there acted as inspiration for me to cover here – even if that channel was not the first place I ever saw the movie.  Sadly, that channel has been on autopilot since October as the original operator of the channel passed away in January 2018.  I still endeavor to cover movies I used to watch on the channel because it did a lot to inspire me to return to the blog after some time away from it.

This week’s feature, Cheerleader Camp, is one of those movies featured on BTV. Continue reading “Cheerleader Camp (1988)”

Devil’s Express (1976)

Holy Jesus Fuck, what do we have here?

Why, it’s Warhawk Tanzania starring in Devil’s Express!  Where do I start with this one?  I mean, everything in the poster looks batshit crazy.  There’s a monster guy who has a woman in one hand and a train in the other.  We have the not one, but TWO taglines – “50,000 years of Death stalks the subways!!!” and “Take the Express train to TERROR!!!”  Both of these are capped with three exclamation points so you know you have to take it seriously.

But no, what I like the most is the kung fu black man on the right side of the poster.  Mr. Warhawk Tanzania!  That’s a fucking name and a half, ain’t it?  Seriously, you can hope for, nay, EXPECT, two things from a name like that – 1) he’s gonna kick ass and 2) he ain’t gonna take no jive from anybody no how. Continue reading “Devil’s Express (1976)”

The Suckling (1990)

Oh, what’s this?  The Suckling?  I wonder if this movie is any good.  What is it that they say?  Ah, that’s right…

“What’s in a name?  Everything.”

Oh.  Oh, no.  That doesn’t bode well.  Well, I can at least say that the monster on the cover of the box is fucking awesome looking.  Look at that guy!  He’s all head and teeth and grossness!

I also have to give it props for two things written up on for real, very reliable websites.  The first, is the very brief synopsis given on Amazon Prime Video: “An aborted fetus dumped in a sewer full of toxic sludge returns.  Newly restored in HD.”  Fuck yeah!  We got a dumpster baby!  AND!  AND!  It’s been restored to high goddamn definition!  That just kills me.  That part at the end about it being newly restored is likely not going to be the selling point for any normal person looking for a movie for this evening’s entertainment. Continue reading “The Suckling (1990)”