Munchies (1987)

Ah, Gremlins.  What a great movie, right?

Little monsters running around doing stuff.  They start off cute and cuddly, but uh oh…  You can”t get them wet!  They multiply if they get wet!  You can’t feed them after midnight!  They turn into ugly, scary monsters when you do that!  And you REALLY can’t let them work on their tans because sunlight kills them!  That’s really bad!

I’m glad I get to talk about Gremlins (by the way, my all-time favorite Christmas movie), but I’m going to not watch that at all.  Instead, I’m gonna be watching one of the Gremlins ripoffs that flooded video stores after it hit big in the mid 80s.  Of course, there’s Critters, which I will get a shot at talking about at the end of the year over at Film Seizure (which is a podcast I co-host). Continue reading “Munchies (1987)”

Humanoids from the Deep (1980)

It was only a matter of time before I would come right back to Roger Corman and his extensive library of films.  I didn’t quite think it would only be two weeks.  I also have been wanting to get back to some monster action too.  I mean I guess I did have Devil’s Express, but was that really a monster movie or just a sweet ass kung fu movie?  So, with that thought, it’s been since The Suckling several weeks ago that I’ve traveled to that sub-genre.

Why not marry the two things I’ve been wanting to explore deeper and look at a more contemporary Roger Corman monster movie??? Continue reading “Humanoids from the Deep (1980)”

The Fantastic Four (1994)

The Fantastic Four is Marvel Comics’ “first family”.  Without them, there literally is no Marvel.  They were the brainchild of Stan Lee and Jack Kirby and launched in 1961 to capitalize on the re-emergence of superhero popularity in comic books that had waned by the late 1950s.

The Fantastic Four was comprised of leader Reed Richards (Mr. Fantastic) who could stretch like rubber, Susan Storm (Invisible Girl) who could turn herself invisible, The Thing  (Ben Grimm) who was a hulking rock monster, and Johnny Storm (The Human Torch) who was both Susan’s brother and able to light himself on fire.  They treated each other as family and even argued like one too.  It was the first real example of a team of superheroes who didn’t always get along.  Despite the overall high sci-fi type of tales they would tell, Lee and Kirby had created something that had a realistic flavor to the characters and their interactions. Continue reading “The Fantastic Four (1994)”

The Incredible Hulk Returns (1988)

Marvel Comics…  Man, what more can I possibly say about how awesome they are?  Obviously, they know what they are doing with their movies.  Over the past 20 years, Marvel has, for the most part, cranked out great superhero movie after great superhero movie.  Starting with 1998’s Blade all the way up to today’s Thor: Ragnarok, no other movie studio has come close to recreating their source material into a major motion picture.

However, there was about 20 years before the release of Blade that things were pretty lean for Marvel getting their intellectual properties into movies.  So, I’ll be looking at four of these attempts this month.  There’s no better place to start than right here with The Incredible Hulk Returns. Continue reading “The Incredible Hulk Returns (1988)”

Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)

I have a confession to make, and I don’t think when I reveal it, I will be the only one who shares this feeling.

I freaking love Halloween III: Season of the Witch.

For some, that’s heresy.  “A Halloween movie without Michael Myers?!?  No, sir!  I will not have it!”  Well, the truth is, the original movie, a masterpiece that excelled beyond most people’s expectations, was never meant to have an entire franchise centering around lead antagonist Michael Myers.  Really, John Carpenter only wanted to tell his own version of the boogey man.  He and producer Debra Hill did conceive a sequel that would continue the story of Michael Myers and Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis), but when approached by Universal Studios for a third installment, Carpenter said he’d only agree to it if it was not connected to the first two films at all. Continue reading “Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)”

My Stepmother Is an Alien (1988)

So here’s another movie I watched a whole bunch between 1989 and about 1991.

In the late 80s and early 90s, I was hitting puberty pretty much like Mark McGwire would hit dingers – hard and fast.  During this time, I would find movies and TV shows as sources of my adolescent crushes.  I don’t think we need to revisit my damn near stalker-level love of both Alyssa Milano and Phoebe Cates.  I think we’ve covered that quite a bit.  Last week, you learned that I was hot in my britches for Teri Copely.  There were two other ladies that hit the scene in 1989 that I wanted to see whatever I could – Kim Basinger and the cat lady from Star Trek V: The Final Frontier. Continue reading “My Stepmother Is an Alien (1988)”

Rollerball (1975)

The 1970s were so fucking cool.  If I was somehow able to, I’d have raunchy back alley sex with the entire decade.  Sure, there’d be a lot of pubic hair, chest hair, and medallions, but goddammit I’d be one satisfied weirdo.

And I can say all that for two reasons.  1) I am a weirdo so I might as well be a satisfied one.  2) I was born in the 70s.  Like with a few years to spare too.  It wasn’t like I was born on December 30, 1979, I was born in February of 1977.  So I existed in the decade I want to make dirty, dirty love to. Continue reading “Rollerball (1975)”

Masters of the Universe (1987)

Remember a few weeks ago when I mentioned that this might be one of the very worst span of four weeks during one summer movie slate ever?  It started with July’s Jaws: The Revenge and Superman IV: The Quest of Peace, and now ends with one of the more spectacular Cannon Films failures, Masters of the Universe.

The origin of how this movie came about takes root from the Mattel smash toy hit of the same name.  Trust me, when I was little, everyone had He-Man toys.  We’d walk around and ask each other if they want to play “He-Mans” and usually had our figures in tow at all times.  We fucking loved this shit.  What’s funny is that the toys were super cheaply made.  For the most part, every figure had the same overly muscular body spray-painted different colors with different heads and different accessories or attachments.  When you have a bunch of of the very same body for every male figure, it makes production costs quite a bit lower and gives you much more of a profit when these things sold like crazy hotcakes. Continue reading “Masters of the Universe (1987)”