The Toolbox Murders (1978)

Bit by bit by bit… He carved a nightmare!

That’s what the promotional materials said to sell this week’s featured B-Movie Enema movie, The Toolbox Murders.  It was also marketed as a dramatization of a true crime spree perpetrated by a serial killer.  Think of it like what Tobe Hooper did with The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.  In fact, scratch that…  This movie is directly connected with The Texas Chainsaw Massacre in a much more direct way.

It’s not like anyone making The Toolbox Murders were associated with TCM.  Oh no…  This is classic exploitation sleaze that will forever connect these two movies.   You see, producer Tony Didio noticed that a second release of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre in 1977 was particularly successful.  So, he decided he wanted in on that.  He showed the movie to his writers and told them one simple thing:

“Gimme something exactly like that chainsaw movie.” Continue reading “The Toolbox Murders (1978)”

Pool Party Massacre (2017)

Ah…  HorrorHound Weekend.  It’s a place of wonders for me.  Quite frankly, if it wasn’t for Vinegar Syndrome and Severin supplying the b-movie goodness, I could easily supply an entire year’s worth of B-Movie Enema articles by attending a single HorrorHound in either my hometown of Indianapolis or about an hour and half down the road in Cincinnati.  HorrorHound and Days of the Dead are havens for gray market movies, indie horror, and even, yes, um, *cough* boot*cough*legs.

My point is, the last time I went to HorrorHound in March 2019 in Cincy, I came back with an embarrassingly large stack of movies.  So, look out, 2020, B-Movie Enema will still be going strong.  But for this week, we go back to 2018’s visit to Indy’s HorrorHound Weekend and a charming little table run by Scream Team Releasing.  They are a little company that helps release indie horror flicks.  They were selling and/or distributing The Barn (a movie I’m adding to my regular rotation of October horror to celebrate Halloween with), Dude Bro Party Massacre III, and Bong of the Living Dead.  Those latter two, remember what I said about 2020…

They also shared space with this week’s feature, Pool Party Massacre. Continue reading “Pool Party Massacre (2017)”

The Cinema Snob Movie (2012)

After Blue March, I wasn’t exactly sure where to go for the next B-Movie Enema.  I mean where do you go after you’ve watched five consecutive pornos from the 70s and 80s?  Who or what should I feature that could possibly make you feel a little less sleazy about watching pornos for your movie review site?

Then it hit me – Brad motherfuckin’ Jones.

Yup, the Cinema Snob himself.  Shit, that guy has seen waaaaaay more porn that I have.  He might even argue that his entire career is owed greatly to the golden age of porn.  Jones has made a handful of movies over the years – either as a writer or director or both.  I could have looked at several of his credits – the hilarious Jesus, Bro! or some of his smaller budget movies like Disco or Paranoia.  Ultimately, there really is only one thing I could possibly choose, the 2012 origin film of his most popular character, The Cinema Snob Movie. Continue reading “The Cinema Snob Movie (2012)”

Terror (1978)

Let’s talk about Norman J. Warren.

He’s someone who I’ve yet to really feature on this blog, but I will be correcting that big time from this point forward.  He’s a British filmmaker who was always into the movies growing up.  His films were often deemed part of British “New Wave” Horror.  Basically, taking what Amicus and Hammer did with sexuality and gore and pushing it a little further for the end of the 70s and beginning of the 80s.

His movies are really interesting – and, in my opinion, actually fascinating and fun to watch, if not good.  He seems to have ideas, even if what he starts with isn’t that groundbreaking.  Want to tell a ghost story?  Well, he’ll tweak it here and there and include a time element and give you Bloody New Year.  Want to tell a story about an alien coming to Earth?  Well, how about we throw in abuse and a lesbian couple and a sinister reason for the alien to be here and give you Prey.  How about yet another alien story, but this time include impregnation and have the mother of the new alien/human hybrid become murderously protective of the monster?  Yeah, we’ll call that Inseminoid. Continue reading “Terror (1978)”

X-Ray (aka Hospital Massacre, 1982)

You know what I haven’t had in a while?  The sudden urge to kill myself out of utter desperation.

Er…  I mean a Cannon Films movie.  I…  Um.  That’s what’s I meant.  Uh…  Anyway, one thing that you can definitely say about the Cannon gurus Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus is that they sure think they know what people want.  In the example of X-Ray (aka Hospital Massacre), they assumed we all wanted a slasher film in a hospital with a hot babe.

Their assumptions were right, but we also kind of want some sort of story that makes sense.  Is that here in this movie?  No?  Yes?  Not really? Continue reading “X-Ray (aka Hospital Massacre, 1982)”

Splatter University (1984)

There are few things about the 80s more true than the following:

1. Kids went to college.
2. Slasher movies happened – sometimes at colleges.

The topic of this week’s B-Movie Enema is the 1984 slasher flick, Splatter University.  However, it’s not really 1984.  The film was initially filmed in 1981.  When the runtime was only 65 minutes, they went back and filmed 13 more minutes in 1982.  So, really I guess this movie has three potential years of release.

And the movie REALLY struggles with the dimension of time – more on that later. Continue reading “Splatter University (1984)”

Cheerleader Camp (1988)

Welcome back to yet another B-Movie Enema.  I’ve been looking forward to talking about this one for a while.

Many times over the past couple years, I’ve mentioned the Roku channel Bizarre TV.  When I first got my Roku, it was one of the very first channels I began to watch religiously for its streaming of, well, bizarre movies and horror shorts.  Some of the movies shown there acted as inspiration for me to cover here – even if that channel was not the first place I ever saw the movie.  Sadly, that channel has been on autopilot since October as the original operator of the channel passed away in January 2018.  I still endeavor to cover movies I used to watch on the channel because it did a lot to inspire me to return to the blog after some time away from it.

This week’s feature, Cheerleader Camp, is one of those movies featured on BTV. Continue reading “Cheerleader Camp (1988)”

After School Massacre (2014)

I’m gonna guess it doesn’t take too much to understand why I’m doing this movie, but, nonetheless, this week’s B-Movie Enema is a little 2014 “comedy” I found on Amazon Prime Video called After School Massacre.

I mean, the cover’s got the word “massacre” in the title.  There’s a bloody knife.  It’s got a shitty tagline of “Some students just don’t make the grade.”  “After school” takes me back to the cheesy, but still classic, ABC Afterschool Specials that taught me the dangers of strangers and drugs and pregnancy.  It looks like the killer committing the titular massacre is hiding under a bath towel…  Or, wait, I guess he’s under the bed. Continue reading “After School Massacre (2014)”